~Articles~
Extensión Contemplativa de San Diego
El Sí de María Artículo por Cristina Romero
n Octubre pasado tuve la oportunidad de viajar al santuario mariano de la Virgen de Lourdes en Francia y recientemente a visitar a la Virgen de Fátima en Portugal. Al ver la piedad de los peregrinos, de sus oraciones y de los testimonios que han dejado escritos los enfermos en las paredes de estas bellas basílicas sentí una emoción enorme. Esto me llevo a reflexionar y a meditar sobre la Virgen, su vida de oración, el sí que dio al mensaje del ángel Gabriel y todo lo que vivió como madre de Jesucristo. En el calvario “Jesús, viendo a su madre y junto a ella al discípulo a quien amaba, dice a su madre: “Mujer, ahí tienes a tu hijo.” Luego dice al discípulo: “Ahí tienes a tu madre.” (Jn 19:26-27) Dios nos habla a través de imágenes y con este bello gesto Jesús mismo nos la entrega como nuestra madre. El documento Lumen Gentium, 61 nos la presenta así: “Concibiendo a Cristo, engendrándolo, alimentándolo, presentándolo al Padre en el templo; sufriendo con su Hijo moribundo en la cruz, cooperó de un modo muy especial a la obra del Salvador, con la obediencia, la fe, la esperanza y la ardiente caridad para restaurar la vida sobrenatural de las almas”. San Pio de Pietrelcina, un monje capuchino, nacido en Italia fue muy devoto de la Virgen María; él tiene una meditación sobre el sí de la Virgen que comparto con ustedes. “Que vuestro sí sea sí.” No sabes lo que la obediencia es capaz de producir por un sí, por un simple sí. Que se haga en mí según tu palabra…y María se convierte en Madre de Dios. Diciendo su sí, se declara esclava del Señor y conserva intacta su virginidad, tan estimada por ella misma y por Dios. Por este sí de María, el mundo obtiene la salvación, la humanidad es rescatada. Entonces, procuremos nosotros también cumplir la voluntad de Dios y digamos sí todos los días al Señor. ª
The Gracious Flow of Generosity & Service
he fact is: Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world. You are withholding it because deep down you think you are small and that you have nothing to give. Try this for a couple of weeks and see how it changes your reality: Whatever you think people are withholding from you – praise, appreciation, assistance, loving care, and so on – give it to them. You don’t have it? Just act as if you had it, and it will come. Then, soon after you start giving, you will start receiving. You cannot receive what you don’t give. Outflow determines inflow. Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you already have, but unless you allow it to flow out, you don’t even know that you have it. … The law that outflow determines inflow is expressed by Jesus in this powerful image: “Give and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into you lap.” Eckhart Tolle in A New Earth, pp 190-191.
î Article by Peter Lautz – Member of the Mission San Diego Centering Prayer Group
hen I was asked to write about some aspect of my experience of Centering Prayer for the newsletter, I initially felt appreciative to have been asked and then as surely as winter follows autumn came my more typical self-conscious anxiety about my lack of ‘qualifications’ in this arena and the thought ‘I’ll just say that I’m too busy to take this on, after all it’s tax time, etc ...’ After sitting on these quite typical reactions of mine towards new challenges for a day or two, I see that I may have something to say and hope that this might be useful or interesting to some of you. I came to Centering Prayer in a meandering way as I suspect many of us have. A much attuned Jewish woman who is a devoted practitioner of Buddhism encouraged me to explore what she termed ‘Christian mysticism’ as she felt it might resonate with me. Again my initial reaction was dual – both as a strong, inner ‘no way’ and simultaneously ‘yes, I’ve felt that way a long time!’ The latter, more real voice prevailed immediately. Apparently I was now ready for the journey to continue with more direction and clarity. Since receiving Holy Communion in grade school, I had had glimpses of a loving and tender presence which I thought of then as God. This awareness had been mostly missing in my life since my teenage years for many reasons—primarily, I now think was my lack of openness to spiritual or transcendent reality in those many years as my doing and separating mode of mind predominated. And so with the practical help of the internet and a love of bookstore perusing, I discovered Contemplative Outreach and the prayer groups. It didn’t take long for me to sense that Centering Prayer “speaks” to something very real and yet subtle in my inner experience which I have had both some awareness of, and resistance to, for many years. After trying a few meditation methods from the Eastern traditions (e.g. Mindfulness and various Buddhist practices) over the past couple of decades, I very thankfully found this practice. And that real yet vague quality which I had known in an indirect fashion since my Catholic grade school days resonated deeply with the prayer from the beginning of my introduction to it. Instead of having to ‘make’ myself meditate, as had been much of my experience with the earlier methods, I now (most of the time) began to look forward to these islands of silence in my day. And early on in the practice there were, as Father Keating and others describe, experiences of consolation and support along the way which helped me persevere in the practice. The silence was at times healing and opening for me and at other times fraught with difficulty and boredom and a place from which to witness humbly all my frenetic thinking. What the Buddhists call ‘monkey mind’ – the incessant often non-productive mental wildness generated in our brains – can often be very alive and well in me. Centering Prayer sometimes calls me to awareness of this activity in ways my small self would rather not see quite so clearly. Yet, I know from sharing with the fellow travelers in my prayer group as well as from reading and the ‘Spiritual Journey’ video series, these experiences are neither good nor bad – they are just part of the spiritual unfolding and deepening we undergo on this adventure into God. The prayer in solitude and the prayer with others are for me both vital aspects of the practice. Communion with God and community with fellows in the shared, replenishing silence are the two important dimensions of my experience these past few years. I have felt a gradual and solid strengthening of support and friendly connection in our group among the members over the 3½ years here and this welcoming presence is so refreshing and encouraging. We laugh, we listen, care and share our experiences. The prayer goes on and on and on. I suspect it will be an integral core of the rest of my life and, as I sit with fingers touching and tapping on these laptop keys, a sense of Presence is thankfully right here, now. ª
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he state of non-duality is addressed in most of the advanced spiritual traditions of the world religions. It is sometimes referred to as No Self or Emptiness, as in Buddhism. It refers to the death of the false self or ego and the diminishment or extinction of the separate self sense, along with the abiding sense of unity with Ultimate Reality. Unity with Ultimate Reality is usually explained as full enlightenment, or in Christian terms, the grace of the Ascension, a state of union beyond inner resurrection.
Non-duality is clearly a state beyond what is called in the Christian contemplative tradition “Transforming Union.” The Cistercians, Franciscans, Carmelities, and other religious groups have described this state as “bridal mysticism.” It involves the union of love with God in which the will and intellect are united to God, whether in interior trials such as the feeling of God’s absence or the delights of mature, apophatic contemplation. The unifying force of divine love draws and unites the soul into ineffable experiences of union with the Beloved and forgetfulness of self. They remain two however. The soul, except in brief periods of ecstasy, is aware of itself in union with God as Bridegroom or the Beloved.
St. John of the Cross in the “Living Flame of Love” hints at higher states of union, but is not explicit. Some of the Beguines of the 12th and 13th centuries wrote explicitly of the Transforming Union as initiating a further journey into states of unity consciousness that parallel the descriptions of no self or enlightenment found in Buddhism, Advaitic Vedanta, or Sufi literature. Here there is no self at all. In general, most mystics believe that the no-self experience cannot be permanent in this life. They affirm that periods of a few hours, or even a few days in exceptional cases, can take place without any reflection of self. At the very least, the physiological development of the brain and nervous system seems to be required for such an evolved state to become permanent. The body has to be prepared to endure the more intense communication of the Divine. This requires those who are in the non-dual state to be able to move freely back and forth. To conceive of a permanent non-dual state of awareness as the goal of all spiritual striving may not be as conformed to reality as to live the non-dual state of mind inside of an active life of immersion in the ups and downs of ordinary experience.
Perhaps it might be useful to orient practitioners to the paradox of living a life that is neither dual or non-dual, just as some spiritual traditions affirm that the Absolute is not this, not that — or similar to the statement, not one, not two. These paradoxes point to the fact that God is beyond all that exists and beyond all categories of being and non-being, as well as in all that exists. ª
î Reflections from the Center
Awareness: The Inner Eye of Love
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he writings of the spiritual teachings of the Desert Elders from the 3rd and 4th centuries record the insightful wisdom of a great lay contemplative, a wise elder who voiced the following truth: “Just as it is impossible to clearly see your face in troubled water, so also the soul, unless it is clear and free from identification with the endless flow of thoughts, is neither able to be aware of God’s presence, nor rest in the pure silence of contemplation.”
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t is intriguing to observe what the word “awareness” has come to mean in popular language. The contemporary uses of the word have taken on various layers that greatly and tragically miss the mark. In Christian spiritual terms, what most, if not all, of these expressions miss is the fact that “awareness” is not one’s self-reflective consciousness but one’s essential nature. In other words, awareness is not “self-awareness” but a “direct seeing,” it is the very capacity to see. This is the “Light of Christ,” the “light” of consciousness.
Another prevalent misconception is that awareness is thinking. Actually, awareness means that which IS … prior to thought and emotion. Because it is the “true self,” awareness is what makes it possible for me to be aware of any and every thing … thoughts, emotions, and the surge of desires in daily life. Without awareness, we wouldn’t even be or exist.
The primordial “optical illusion,” one that blinds the maturing of the “spiritual eye of awareness” is the identification with the body- mind. That’s who I think I am, this “body-mind,” a false identity of thoughts, emotions, and roles that I have become attached to. This optical illusion is created anew each morning upon waking and keeps us fixated on the false self. The utterly amazing fact is that so few human beings ever clearly see through this hoax and live from the direct seeing that is awareness! This is why we so deperately need the contemplative dimension of the Gospel: to heal this core illusion.
The eclipsing of awareness begins as soon as I first learn the sound of the name my parents give me. Thus begins the journey “out of the Garden,” and why we feel so “naked and vulnerable,” because we were unconsciously taught to bear the burden of being God for ourselves. Instead of allowing God to live Life through me, I begin by thinking that I can live “my life” separately from God. Very early in life, we get it backwards.
Ironically, the ‘Fall from the Garden’ seems totally unavoidable. This wrong identification with an egoic, false self is perpetuated in every family, in every culture, in every age. Once “my” name is learned, a pattern of thinking begins to build around an initial misperception that wrongly identifies with the body-mind, and then identifies with every other object-thing in life which I call “mine,” and these “things” become attached to the original misperception. This is the meaning behind the Bibical language of “original sin.”
We begin our rational life with this optical illusion of consciousness. The human condition presents life backwards. We start off mistakingly taking a concocted self for Reality. Because we can’t escape beginning life backwards, (it’s not a personal fault) we remain blind to the truth that the Divine presence and action is already living through you and I. We are already one with the Trinitarian flow of life, but don’t know it, aren’t conscious of our true nature: Awareness. Mature religion and spirtuality help us “recognize” that we are not separate, autonomous creatures, rather, the “Divine Life lives us.”
Do you begin to see how unaware human beings can be? Identification with an ‘illusory self’ is the source of all pain and suffering. Genuine freedom is to directly see that what we truly are, amazingly and wondrously, is the Mind of Christ, Radical Awareness. Awareness is the very foundation and root of who “I am.” In Christian language, awareness is the Great I AM of the Living Christ continued in “me,” except that this “me” is not something “personal” (egoic), but individual. Our Triune God invites us into full union without losing our individuality.
Without awareness, we wouldn’t begin to be aware of any “thing” or “object,” let alone all the “things” with which we so thoroughly identify due to the human condition. Such “things” do not last to eternal life: “my” body, thoughts, feelings, and desires.
Awareness grows with fidelity to contemplative prayer. I begin to appreciate the core of what I am. Patience and perseverance in the silence of the “inner room” allow one’s inmost awareness to arise, and with it the healing of false identifications by which one had remained imprisoned. There is a great release from the impossible burden of trying to be God for oneself. The deeper, freeing “being-knowing” of awareness takes root.
As we sit in radical silence and stillness, the reorchestration of the energies of our essential nature begin to assert themselves. We need to trust the silence so much more! The fruits of such fidelity progressively cleanse the inner eye of love revealing the truth of being: not “me” living “my” life, but Christ rising through the individual self. From this inner resurrection we are led to the power of Christ’s Ascension, a return to the fullness of our being in the Father. Here, we are not “one or two” – neither totally God, nor totally separate from God – we are “both one and two” – both united to God while retaining our unique individuality. What an amazing mystery, the Mystery of Christ!
Awareness is Christ flourishing within as I let go of all that is not of the Father. “I” can’t ever know “who I am” as an object of the mind, for this truth is beyond the mind. I can’t objectify it with the mind, I can only BE that. In the Boundless Compassion of Christ, I Am awareness, the inner eye of love! ª
Fr. Justin Langille
Spiritual Director & Editor
